I’ve fallen in love.

Everyday I’m finding it harder and harder to be away from him. I’m finding it easier to trust him, easier to love him, and easier to be myself around him. But I know God’s plan for me. How can I leave him behind when I embark on this journey; this pilgrimage? My plan was to leave. To take a year to ready myself, to get equiptment and money, to pray about it and make sure it was what God wanted of me, and then to pack up and set out. I was going to follow my heart on an open heart, come rain or wind or heat or cold. Come a grumbling belly or headache. Sore legs and feet and muscles. I was going to leave behind my nine to five or one to ten crap job, my security, my comfy bed and just go. I was going to give up relying on family and friends for awhile. I was going to give up my cell phone, iPod, and laptop. I was going to give it up and become a Christian nomad. But I fell in love.

Can I be one of those girls?

Could I really give up this dream out of fear? But then again, could I leave him? Them? My family and friends. My parents. My church. My nieces and nephews. Could I leave my family behind knowing that most of them are unsaved?

Lord Help Me Understand.

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